3 ways NOT to become a ‘life list’ statistic!
80% of women believe they will not fulfill their potential.
I truly find this so sad. In an age of repeatedly hearing ‘you can be/do whatever you want’.....why is this percentage still so high?
Are you in that percentage?
Are you stuck on the hamster wheel of life? You know the one. Where you are doing the ‘normal’ things. That life list that is the 'normal' thing to work through on your life journey? That checklist that we all hear about as we are growing up:
1. Do well in school
2. Get a good career
3. Get married
4. Have children
5. Become a grandparent
I have always wanted more. I have always known I just didn’t quite fit that mold.
Yes, I have ticked off some of that checklist, but along the way I’ve also been designing my life to fit with my wants and needs. For example, I did have a career I loved but now have found the freedom I was always feeling drawn to, by designing my career and having the strength to always move towards it.
I remember the first moment I felt I didn’t really ‘fit the mold’. Many years ago, we had some friends over at our home, and the question of what do you see yourself doing with the rest of your life came up. When one of them said “sitting on the back porch watching my grandkids”, I queried to get a little deeper about what they had experienced before that moment they were seeing….their answer? Nothing else. Just work, retire, sit.
So, how can you avoid becoming part of that statistic - that 80% club? Here are 3 tips:
1. Believe in yourself….
I know, you’ve probably heard that a gazillion times, and it seems way too easy a statement to take notice of. However, it really is key.
I had a conversation with a wonderful young lady this week who said she felt like giving up on something she had chosen to do - because others think ‘it’s lame’. Not exactly her words, but that is most definitely what she was trying to say.
When I asked a few more questions she said she had chosen to start her own business sharing products she loved, and had become a distributor of the products. Yes, she is the proud owner of an MLM business.
However, others had chosen to tell her it was a scam, pyramid scheme, and she shouldn’t do it.
I asked her 3 things:
Do you believe the products can honestly help people?
Are you proud to represent the company?
Are you being authentically you when sharing?
Her answer was a resounding yes to all, however, her belief in herself was at an all-time low.
It was at that all-time low because of the thoughts of other women. Yes that age-old women empowering women catchphrase, was not happening for her. Instead, she had experienced the women bullying women, women trolling women, women belittling women, type behaviour.
I asked her if she believed in herself. Because if you truly believe in yourself, then you will believe that what you are doing is for the right reasons. That you can make good choices. That you are doing good things. That you matter.
I’ve had the bullying, the trolling, the belittling all happen to me, and without a doubt, it was the true belief that what I’m doing is for the right reason and to make a difference in the world, that got me through that bubble of women always supporting women bursting. Because in reality, many don’t.
Something that has truly astounded me lately is when I hear from women experiencing the same thing - they note the age category of 30 to 50 seems to have the most women belittling, trolling, 'stealing' customers, and passing judgement on them in their experience!
So do whatever you need to do, have those positive affirmations, pictures, and people around you that nourish your belief in yourself, and the noise from the others will greatly diminish.
2. Continue forward
It can be so easy to give in.
Maybe you’ve been working at something for a long time, a career promotion, starting your own business, growing a business, doing something that your heart is passionate about. I’m not going to say there haven’t been times when I’ve felt like giving something up, however, one piece of advice I was given that sticks in my mind at those times is ‘What if tomorrow was the day it was all going to finally click into place, and you had given up today?’
I have now written an Amazon bestseller in 14 categories, and I know without a doubt that would not have happened if I had given up during any of the times I have felt like it. I’m lucky I had adopted a habit of never giving up on myself, and found a support and wellness cheer squad to help me through the toughest times.
There is also that phrase about doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results, so if something you are doing is simply not working, plateauing, or feeling more like work than passion - change it up! There are a gazillion ways you can reinvigorate something.
My term is to ‘refresh’ it! Refresh your business, refresh the way you are looking at something - just change it up! You will find a new way of looking at the same thing, giving new energy and life to your passion for it.
Just know, however, that there are times when ‘refreshing it’ may look like a complete change. Those moments when something may be impacting your physical and mental health for example. I had to do just that. Relational aggression took a major toll on my physical health, and I had to take a moment, pause, and realise that the only way back up was to completely change directions. It wasn't easy. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. But looking back, it was undoubtedly the right one.
Sometimes, the path to success involves not just perseverance, but also knowing when to pivot, when to step back, and when to make a complete change. It's about recognising that your well-being, both physical and mental, is paramount. So, if something in your life is draining you rather than fueling you, don't be afraid to make that radical shift. Embrace the discomfort of change, because on the other side lies the potential for growth, fulfillment, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Continue forward, even if it means taking a different path altogether. Remember, it's not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up and keep moving forward.
3. Do daily self-care
Most definitely the times when we are feeling tired, low, depleted of energy, emotional, and just plain weary are the days when we have the most opportunity to fall into negative statistics.
Yes, it is that old analogy of putting your mask on first….you need to feel good to be your best self.
Here are another few statistics on women from my book:
71% don’t have enough energy to do what they need to do
68% are sleep deprived and experience signs of burnout
64% experience anxiety
43.7% consider themselves overweight
Is it any wonder that if this many women are feeling sleep deprived, burnt out, anxious, and without energy, that the 80% statistic is so high?
So, take care of yourself! Easier said than done if you are a people pleaser, or if you find yourself feeling ‘guilty’ for scheduling in self-care to your day. However, today is the day you draw a line in the sand and start with 15 minutes of self-care a day, then move it up to 30.
Start with the most basic, and then build from there. For example, start with one of these:
15-minute meditation
15-minute bath
15-minute reading time (nothing that will stimulate, just relax)
15-minute quiet time
15-minute movement
15-minute sitting and eating (with no distractions)
Then when you are doing well with your 15 minutes a day, move it to 30 minutes.
From there start scheduling in time with your wellness cheer squad (grab my book for a full explanation of that idea), and work on your mindful movement, mindful eating, and owning your morning and bedtime routines.
So, there you have it, 3 tips to not becoming a statistic:
Believe in Yourself
Continue Forward
Do daily Self Care
Finally, when life gets you down you know what you’ve got to do?
Just keep swimming! Yes, Dory from the Finding Nemo movie said it best!
CLICK HERE to hear her words right now. Go on you know you want to hear it - and it won't even take a minute of your day!
Naomi xo
Naomi Dyer is a Bestselling Author, International Speaker, Internationally Certified Results Coach, entrepreneur, and cancer survivor. She's a beacon of resilience and empowerment, whose journey through adversity inspires audiences worldwide.
If you would like to learn more, see her story, or book her to speak at your event visit www.naomidyer.com.au
